Homesick

Today I had a flashback. Several years ago I was ministering in the Ellis 1 Prison Unit. It was a Christmas service, and I prepared several tracks to sing, including, “I’ll be home for Christmas”. I looked out at the in-mates faces, midway through the song, and saw tears streaming down many of their faces! I felt horrible! Here I was in a locked-down situation with men who have been away from their families for years, and some even decades.

I was singing them a song that most likely would not come true for a long time, if ever.

“I’ll be home for Christmas”...that song never impacted me so much, as it has this Christmas. People ask me how it feels to be in a long-distance relationship. I say, I feel HOMESICK. I can’t explain it any other way. This year, I am the most homesick I’ve ever been during the holidays. My home is not here, my home is in the form of a man many states away.

It’s unbelievable how different my life is now without him around. You never know what you’re missing out on, until you have it and it has to go away (even if only for a little while). The difference between the prisoner's sadness, and my own is that we have a promise from God that we will, in fact, be able to spend forever together, not apart. I know this time apart is God’s plan for us. He is preparing us for what is ahead, and for that I will be grateful and shut up (most of the time) about how sad I am. There are those few times, especially now during the “most wonderful time of the year” however, when I can’t help but be honest about my sadness away from my Love.

I look forward to many, many, many Holiday Seasons with you Billy-boy, and I may not be home for Christmas, but I’ll be there for New Years!